HisGrace.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Changes, changes

I'm still overwhelmed by the so many 'things' happening.
I'm still trying to adapt to the 'changes'.

You wanna know what I think didn't you?
Like I said, I'm fine with the 'new arrangement' =( At the end of the day, like what you said, it is for the best for His ministry. I was brought back to my last sharing about expecting change and moving according to His plans. So ya, the ministry is His, He does what pleases Him and we, I will obey.

I couldn't get to sleep yesterday.
Memories started coming back to me. It went all the way back to how 'we' started. I went back to the day 'she' left us. I was really upset and puzzled at the same time then. But I took stride and appeared strong. I told myself I will not cry or create a big woooooha about her leaving. And I'm proud of myself, I did. I never told anyone about this, it was childish to, I thought. Till recent, the 'pain' still lingers, yet it has also been a forge for strength. Forge becauses I stick to the saying of 'people change'. Until when I decided to let go and let God, I'm filled with the peace that 'when things have got me down and no one is around, I've got Jesus, yes Lord Jesus.'

Now, the hook of that 'incident' was brought up. And I wonder how I'll handle it this time. Yes, you are not leaving, leaving. But it's gonna be different. Ya, very! I didn't know what to ask because I'm not confident that you will tell me 'everything'. So, the last resort is to keep hushed, till one day, very soon, the news will be announced, commenced.

It's a different kind of sad, you see. Not the cry-and-it-will-be-over or the cry-and-you-will-feel-better kind. For emotions like this will last a lifetime, leaving me puzzled, confused and alone.

God, no matter what I trust in You. It's painful, yes very, but thank You for this opportunity for me to grow.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Yep Yanni, trials are never ending. Till the day we see Him face to face.

Oh ya, Shun! Yanni! ZS! Thanks for dropping by! You have no idea HOW MUCH it meant to me. I'm not an odd, I'm not forgotten. Oh yea...

And ZS, I hope you are feeling better now, cause' it's my turn. Headache. Nauseous.
Pray for me arrrrrrr.

9:18 AM